Not in but out

What time does the library open?” the man on the phone asked. 
“Nine A.M.” came the reply. “And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?”
“Not until nine A.M.?” the man asked in a disappointed voice.
“No, not till nine A.M.!” the librarian said. “Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?”
“Who said I wanted to get in?” the man sighed sadly. “I want to get out.

Teacher guilty

A lady broke a signal and
was presented in front of the judge.
Lady: Your honor please let me go
I am a school teacher,
I am getting late for my class.
Judge: Aahaa so you are a teacher,
I have waited for this moment all my life,
now write down
���I WILL NEVER GO THROUGH A RED LIGHT���
5000 TIMES AND I WILL LET YOU

Effective eh?

One day Molla Nasreddin was sprinkling some powder on the ground around his house.
-Molla, what are you doing? a neighbor asked.
-I want to keep the tigers away.
-But there are no tigers within hundreds of miles.
-Effective, isn’t it? Molla replied